June 5th marks 12 long years that we have not had David's bright smile in our home. He went off for a fun adventure and we never got to say goodbye. There are so many things we wish we had said. If only we could have been given one of those big bear hugs, knowing it would be the last. If only there had been a way to know, in advance that he would leave us. We would have kept him home. But that would not have been his desire. If Dave had known what was ahead of him, he would have gone anyway, knowing that his life would be needed to provide safety for the others. There is no way to measure the pain that we feel every day. How do you measure an empty spot in your heart, your life? There is not a day that goes by that each of us does not think of him. We know where he is.. we know what he is doing, but still, it would be nice if he could stop by for a visit. Each of us has grown as we have asked God to help us understand why he was called home, and many have been touched by his example. I first heard this quote from the Greek poet, Aeschylus, forty years ago. It was recited by Bobby Kennedy the night that Martin Luther King was murdered and was from his favorite poem. It reads " and even in our sleep, pain that cannot forget, falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God". How is it that a Greek poet could know that we would be taught by the Holy Spirit how to understand, to love, to forgive and to heal? We now know that all is part of God's plan, and in the eternal scheme of things, this loss of our son will be but a moment. We now have wonderful children and grandchildren, extended family and friends who have helped to ease the pain we have all felt daily, and for this, we give thanks to our God.
9 comments:
I can't imagine the pain you have felt. I think about David often, maybe not every day, but often. I think about him every time I have to explain to my little Ben why he should wear shoes outside. In the back of my mind I'm thinking, "let him run around barefoot, like David did."
When I was on my mission (for the short time that I was) I met a family who had just lost their son to cancer. Infact, their son, Patrick, died the day I arrived in the mission field. His mom told us about the night he passed away. She said she went into to check on him and he told her there were two guys in black suits standing in the room with them. When she asked him if he was scared he told her he wasn't because the guys were missionaries and they wanted him to come with them. Patrick told his mom he really wanted to go, she told him it was okay to go with them and that night he passed away.
The moment she told that story I thought about David and felt that one of the missionaries might have been him. It's painful for your family that he isn't here, but I'm certain he is doing great things on the other side.
Great post, 12 years is a long time. It would be incredible to have 3 Shon/Robin's around. Imagine how much work could be done. I don't know if I could hand tools to the three of you fast enough.
Beautiful post, Dad. Thanks for the beautiful words - it's still so hard to know what to say sometimes and how best to say it. I'm sure he's very reassured to have family who think of him often, as I'm sure he does the same. I'm certain he can't wait for a good long hike or adventure with you again someday!
Wow, I can't believe it's been 12 years! It really doesn't seem so long ago, but in some ways it really does. I did think about him on that day, I usually do. But usually that day passes, I was comforted to jump onto you blog and see a mention of it! I still miss him so much and I always wonder how life would've been. But so many wonderful things have happened because of it. It's crazy. And that is my FAVORITE picture of him! Aside from the hat and letterman's jacket. I still have that picture hanging in my room at home! Thanks for the post! I love you guys so much!
I have had two intense emotions fall upon me at the same time each of our children has joined our family. The first being, how is there room in my heart to love another one like I love the ones who are already with us? And amazingly it is an immediate, intense, eternal bond. Like they have always been part of you and you have never really been apart. And second, overwhelmingly frightening and suffocating, how can I bear the thought of losing this one in anyway because that relationship? To lose a part of ourselves is the most difficult thing because it can never be replaced. The hole will always be there until we are reunited again, whole and complete. I've thought of your family over the years and pray for that hole not hurt too much as you anticpate the resoration of your family.
With lots of love, Jennifer
What a neat tribute to my favorite cousin Dave (sorry other cousins but it's true). I have thought about this experience in my life when he left us, and this has been a great motivator for me to do what is right in order to not only be with my Savior, and Father in Heaven again, but also to be reunited once again with family members--especially Dave
I'm sorry. I'm not from Your family. My english is bad. I recognized story about Dave in program "I shoudn't be alive". It impressed me. I began to search information about it. I'm a christian and I was so happy, when I recognized that Dave was christian too. It's consolatory that God accepted him.
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