Three days ago I woke up at 2:30 AM with a profound and suffocating sadness having had a dream about David. I was reliving the morning twenty years ago when I got up at 2:30 AM to cook breakfast omelettes for all the scouts in our troop and their leaders. I think of David every day of my life but I don't often dream about him. After I woke, I was unable to overcome the sadness and lay in bed until morning thinking about that day.
After he and the other boys had left that morning, I went up to his bedroom and just sat on his bed. I received a small prompting that maybe this wasn't such a good idea and that I may never see David again, but I brushed it off thinking that this was the first Scout campout in five years that I wouldn't be going with him. If I could change one thing in my life, it would be to act on that prompting and bring the boys back home.
I didn't of course, and three days later a policeman would knock on our door and tell Janene that he had died and was never coming home again. Our Dave died alone, without us, twenty years ago today.
He is such a happy young man and the contrast of him being gone left me feeling sorrow and despair all morning after I awoke. I was still much affected at work. I have adapted a computer program at work to display key scriptures and quotes from church and other religious leaders every time I open the program. These messages are displayed literally dozens of times each day.
One of those messages explained how deeply our Father in Heaven loves us, and I was overwhelmed by the love that our Father in Heaven must have for me, and for all of us. He knew what was ahead for His Only Begotten, yet He sent him to this world to atone for our sins, to suffer and die at the hands of wicked and hateful men, and ultimately be crucified by them. He sent His Son anyway because of the love He has for us. He knew there was no other way for us to be able to be with Him again.
I am so grateful for a loving Father who allowed His Only Begotten Son to go through this for me. I am just as grateful for His Son, Jesus Christ. He loves me - and you, just as much as the Father. He trusted in His Father's plan and was courageous and valiant in working out this plan and our salvation. This great gift allows us to be reunited with those we love who have gone on from this life. I am so grateful to understand this plan of salvation and to know that I will be able to be with this wonderful boy again. Every time I think of him I feel a twinge of sadness. Sometimes it is worse than at other times, but I always remember with great joy that we will be reunited again because of the great sacrifice of our loving Savior.
