A Crazy Phoenix Trip

 A nice little work trip to Phoenix - sounds fun, right? On the way here, they couldn't serve any drinks on the plane. The stewardesses had to stay buckled into their seats. The ride was just like the rollercoaster at Lagoon. First thing in the morning, I grab my laptop and head out - get in the elevator, push the button for the lobby, and voila! - the elevator drops precipitously and screaches to an abrupt halt. Mild panic is being held at bay because I know a little about elevators. Then I realize - I know a little about elevators! Even with all the safeties, all sorts of things go wrong. Not to worry, the email the Marriott sent me has the phone number and I can call the front desk. I call the front desk "Marriott Phoenix, can I put you on hold?" Are you kidding me? After listening to pleasant soothing music, I get a chance to explain that I seem to be stuck in the elevator somewhere below the eight floor. "Did you get in the elevator on the right as you were looking at it?" I pause as the realization hits me that she knows which elevator is broken - and they did nothing to stop people from getting on a broken elevator. I listen calmly as she tells me that an engineer is working on it. I use the time while I wait to review all my e-mails. Next thing I know, the elevator is lurching to the 12th floor. It occurs to me that if the elevator falls from the 12th floor, I probably won't survive. What would be the best way to stand? Knees flexed? Should I lie down? Hmmm.... I wonder if the door can be opened? Whoa! It opens! I am about 2 feet above the landing and jump down. I took the stairs down to my meeting and left them wondering what happened to the guy stuck in the elevator. As I look out the window, I see a huge storm rolling into town.

All during my meetings I can hear hail pounding on the roof. Later when I went out to go to dinner, I watch as one of the trees on the property does a slow motion dive into someone's rented Cadillac. You can't even tell there is a white Caddy inside there.

Earlier, we watched from the hotel as lightning struck a palm tree and set it on fire. Palm fronds smell suspiciously like an electrical fire when they burn. I didn't have the sense to take a picture of it while it was on fire, so here it is the next day. The next day we find out that the fountain no longer works and the pool is closed. It seems that a giant palm tree has fallen into the swimming pool, turning the water a disgusting brown. When I got back to the hotel, I found out there were four tornados that tore things up and here close to the hotel, about forty telephone poles fell over onto homes. What a deal - I never got to use my swimsuit and I have had to wear my long sleeve shirt the whole trip. Welcome to Phoenix.